Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Randomize
