never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
