he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
