Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
