How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
