there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
dude. I can hear the air.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
