he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
