at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
