It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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