I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
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