we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
