I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
