scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
