I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
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