Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
