Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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