i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
