btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
