dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
