I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
