Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
