I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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