Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
When did we convert life to cartoon?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
