I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Can you bring me the toilet please
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
