And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
