I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
