can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
