well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
