So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
