Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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