You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
