The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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