So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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