I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
