i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
