Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
