Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Of course I have a pirate flag
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
