All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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