k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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