I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
