dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
