Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
