her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
