All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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