apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
