i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
