This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
