I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
