Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
