you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
