Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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