If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
