dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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