She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Boobs speak an international language.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
